I admit it. As far as I am concerned, with all do respect to Mr. Hershey, Cadbury chocolate is my favorite. But what I especially like about them today is that, at least according to the post I found on my LinkedIn feed, and assuming this is authentic, they actually respond to some job applicants whom they reject.
Here’s what the letter states:
Dear Mr. Jones:
We regret to inform you that your application for the position of Global Quality Manager has been unsuccessful. We don’t normally respond to unsuccessful applicants but in your case we’ve made an exception in order to return the £5 note you attached to the references section of your application under the line “Elizabeth *wink wink.*”
Some notes regarding your application:
- Listing “Super secret spy work I can’t legally talk about” as your previous work experience won’t fool anyone.
- In future you might want to refrain from using sentences like “C’mon, let me be a part of this great gig you’ve got going on.”
- eBay feedback isn’t a relevant reference.
- Your attached sketch of an “everlasting chocolate bar” was unwarranted, absurd and quite frankly it scared us a little.
We wish you all the best in your future endeavours,
I do not know if this letter is for real. (Given the spelling of “endevours,” it might be!) But for the sake of argument, let’s say it is.
What we have here is someone who thinks that being smart, being a wise guy, will differentiate him from his competition, get him noticed and get a response.
Well he was right. Except that he was noticed for being a fool and he only got a response because of the five quid bribe.
Yes, in your cover letter and resume you want to differentiate yourself. Sadly, today it is easy to do by just writing a well-written letter. As I have written previously, all you have to do, all you should do, is to keep it short, sweet and to the point. No self-praise and, most certainly, no nonsense. The same is true for resumes. After all, no one hires a fool!
Bruce Hurwitz is an executive recruiter and career counselor. He is the author of Success! As Employee or Entrepreneur and A Hooker’s Guide to Getting a Job: Parables from the Real World of Career Counseling and Executive Recruiting. To take advantage of his December Career Counseling Special click here.